Secrets
by TheAnimeTrain
Summary: Everyone has some secret that they do not want others to know. Some are simple ones that they prefer to keep to themselves while others are too painful to remember.
1. Chapter 1

**That Day**

* * *

At some point there was just no helping it. The two of them would just continue arguing without much of a reason.

Inukai understood this well, which was why he just decided to sit off to the side and look at his phone. He would have called Mei or Minoru but the two idiots arguing a few feet away had yet to get hands-on and stuck to mocking each other with petty insults.

He knew that there was no real way of stopping them once they started, so sitting there was all he could really do in this situation.

 _I wonder if I should just call Shiro-chan over. Maybe his cuteness will brighten things up here~_

As he started snickering to himself, he could hear the argument going on. It was getting to the point of them almost relating themselves.

 _They must both be in a good mood. Neither of them has raised their fists yet. Maybe they're actually growing up._

Seeing that the both of them were now pouting a bit - something he never got use to seeing - he could tell that they really weren't growing up too much when fighting each other.

It really looked like two children fighting on the playground.

At the same time, it was somewhat nice to see this kind fight between the two of them. A fight where they were just yelling at each one and not doing any physical harm to each other. Those kinds of fight meant that they were both well and lovely enough to have them.

 _It seems like a long time ago but..._ That Day _was really only a while ago. Just a bit before those two met Takeshi._

The hatred between the two was still there back then, there was no denying that. It was just lessened compared to right now. Back then it was just a glare here and a glare there, now they would be at each other's throats when they see each other. At times it was literal.

It had been easier back then for Inukai since he never had to really get between them. While he couldn't stop their fight now, he was able to keep them a few feet away from each other while waiting for the two who could.

It was a terrible sight for everyone watching, yet no one got involved since everyone knew how it would turn out. They only really got involved when they saw fists about to fly.

Those kinds of fights had been when others saw the very ugly sides of the toe respected agents.

Even as he thought about it now, Inukai could remember That Day rather vividly. Not small things like what he had for breakfast, or even what day it really was. The thing he remember was the moment when everything went to hell.

A wide-eyed Ninomiya and a coughing Yuki.

 _No. He was still "Kiyoshi" then._

That was around the time "Taiyōko Kiyoshi" had decided to die and pick up the name "Tsukiko Yuki".

He was not the only one there. One other person had been standing there. That person was also watching, eyes just scanning over what had happened. She had been calculating how it had happened and what other possibilities there had been.

He had been the first one to move, rushing to the coughing person.

The coughing could still be heard. It seemed like he was listening it happen right this instant.

Almost like...

"H-hey...!"

Inukai blinked a few times as he heard a yell.

He quickly turned his head to see that the two idiots were no longer fighting. The reason for this was simple.

Yuki had started coughing violently.

Seeing his captain standing there, not really knowing what to do, Inukai ran over to his friend's side.

He slid on his knees as he moved up to Yuki. He tried to sooth the A-Rank agent while feeling around Yuki's jacket for his pills.

By the time he found the small bottle, Yuki had his eyes closed and was leaning forward.

Inukai was quick to catch him.

He gently opened Yuki's mouth before looming inside.

"Good. No blood. So it was just the coughing." He looked up at his captain, who was still just standing there. "I'll go take him to Kotowari Squad's room. They're closer than others. In no one is there then I'll just wait with him."

"Their door would be locked then."

Inukai nodded his head as he stood up.

"Yeah. I know. It's fine. I'm sure they'll rush over when I message them."

"..."

As he was about to lift Yuki up, Inukai got a surprise when his captain slowly, with much hesitation, moved towards Yuki. It got even weirded when he tried to fix the A-Rank so that he was carrying him piggyback.

Seeing Ninomiya give him a look, Inukai went into action by helping to adjust his unconscious friend.

"Um... Ninomiya-san?"

"I am taking him to our squad's room. Go find someone who can deal with him and tell him that we are going to be there."

"Uh... Please don't try and-"

"I hate him, but I wouldn't kill him. Not on purpose at least..."

Inukai said nothing else as he looked at the expression his captain was making. It was one of complete guilt and a bit of anger.

He was one of the few people who knew why this look came upon the former A-Rank.

"If he wakes up before you guys get there... I want to talk to him. Can you message Tsuji, Hiyami and Minoru to tell them not to go into the room?"

It was not an order, but a question.

Inukai nodded his head.

Without another word, Ninomiya started walking away with an extra load on his back.

* * *

As he was walking, Ninomiya could hear the whispers around him.

"Hey... Doesn't that seem weird?"

"Do you think he's finally going to kill him?"

"Should we inform someone?"

"Will the directors be of any help here?"

"No, no! We need to call one of those two!"

"This is getting scary!"

He was trying his best to ignore them all, seeing as how they didn't know about the current situation, but it was easier said than done. He wanted so badly to say something to them. The issue with that was the fact they would most likely not believe him.

After all...

 _I would never help this damn faker. Even now... This isn't helping him so much as making me feel less guilty. Right. I just don't want to feel more guilty._

He let out a sigh while muttering under his breath.

"...Even if I am the reason he is like this..."

The moment his enemy had fallen to the ground, coughing and holding his chest, he remembered That Day as if it was happening again. Moments like those didn't come too often, but when they did they hit him like a truck.

The guilt and regret from that day lingered over him every time he even heard his enemy's name. Seeing him fall to the ground like that reminded him of just how fragile the younger one was now.

"Taiyōko Kiyoshi" had been strong and relentless. "Tsukiko Yuki" was weak and deteriorating. It was a sad contrast that could not be avoided for a while now. The fact that he was invoked with that contrast made Ninomiya's stomach churn.

He knew about everything the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" couldn't do anymore.

Minoru had told him about all the places he couldn't go to anywhere, all of the thrilling things he refused to go on now, even smaller things he wouldn't do so that others wouldn't have to worry about him.

Inukai had told him about the fun things he couldn't do anymore, everything that he couldn't do because of the energy he didn't have, how the person that was once called "Taiyōko Kiyoshi" really wasn't there anymore.

He had once heard Murakami talking to himself, saying how the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" finally felt like he was able to do something when Border had to deal with the Wanderers and he was able to leave Mikado City. When he thought about it some more, Ninomiya could remember seeing a glint of excitement in the younger one's eyes at the time.

Even Kageura said something about the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" not even being able to participate in Sports Festivals, or going to school with a pain filled smile.

Mei had made it a point to not say anything about what the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" could no longer do. She had even gone so far as to tell the others not to say anything about it either.

None of them meant any real harm since they were all friends of the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki," but he felt his stomach churn each time he had heard about the things the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" couldn't do.

He knew he was the one at fault for that.

Even so, there was something that only a few people knew about the two of them. It was a fact that they would never say out loud, or even think about, but it was there.

They respected each other.

Everything that made up "Ninomiya Masataka" and everything that made up the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" screamed hatred towards the other. They were enemies that had no real basis, people who just hated each other because they were living. Everyone knew this.

At the same time, everything that made up "Ninomiya Masataka" and everything that made up the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" screamed to respect the other. That respected was hardly ever shown, but it was there. It was respect for life, the lives they had been given, changed, and now had to deal with.

Ninomiya Masataka respected the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" for living his life even with his deteriorating body and painful days. Those were things that showed him that the younger one was a strong person. He respected strong people.

The person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" respected Ninomiya Masataka for staying the way he is throughout everything. The fact that they were still enemies and there was never any pity made him respect the B-Rank captain.

It was an odd relationship, yet one that worked for both of them.

So out of respect - and some guilt - he decided to appear to help the person who was known as "Tsukiko Yuki."

* * *

"This guy... This damn faker. Just touching him makes me feel like my skin is on fire. It's really disgusting."

Even though he was the only one awake in the room, Ninomiya complained about the sleeping person in the other room.

He had carried Yuki all the way to his squad's room to set him down. It was a better option than letting Inukai take him and both sitting against the wall. At least here he could lay on a mat.

 _How am I going to say this? Just thinking about it hurts. I would get Inukai to do for me, but if know I have to say this in person._

With every word he thought, Ninomiya felt an intense anger bubble up. It was hard to keep down, but he knew that he had to try his hardest not to just pick up the other body and toss it outside.

There had to be an easy way around all of this.

As he thought about, his anger rose, while at the same time, the memory of That Day came flooding back with full force.

* * *

 _Ninomiya himself was standing there, looking down at the person who was coughing a lot. The coughing intensified, quickly turning violent. The color red could be seen splattered on the ground and on the person's hands. Multiple gasses filled the air, clouding the surrounding area._

 _Among all that gas and coughing a yell was heard. The yell had come from Inukai. While he stood there in shock, Inukai had ran over to the person. He didn't move an inch, even as Inukai called out to someone else while looking after the person._

 _A fourth person came from the gas. It was a girl, one that was on the same team at the person Inukai was looking over. She moved slowly towards the two on the ground, seeming to be unsure on what was going on._

 _The three who were not coughing were fine since they were in Trion Bodies, but the person with blood on his hand and mouth was in his real body. Because of that, everything that was in the air started to get into his body._

 _He slowly looked around to see some destroyed containers. Each one had holes through them, making it obvious that something had shot through them. They were heavily plated, yet something had shot through them. The closest thing to being able to do that were the Triggers owned by Border._

 _The reason for them all being in that strange place was unclear. Hardly any of them actually remembered why they were there. The best they could come up with was that they were going after some Neighbors and ended up there._

 _There may or may it have been a few Marmods there as well._

 _Even if he couldn't remember the reason too well, Ninomiya certainly remembered Inukai shaking his shoulder._

* * *

There was some movement in the next room over. A groan and a statement.

"Everything hurts..."

Ninomiya made no move to stand up.

He sat there, staring into nothing particular. Far too caught up in his thoughts to even notice the person walking out if the next room over.

"What the hell...? I thought that Inu had brought me here. Hey, Airhead, where is he? I don't want too, but I have to at least thank him for bringing me all the way here."

Ninomiya said nothing, instead he just continued to stare into blank space.

Seeing this, Yuki walked forward, ready to do something. His first reaction was to punch the older male in the face, but he went against that and instead just waved a hand in front of his face.

It was odd to not hear a comeback right away after all.

There was only one other instance where he had seen the former A-Rank so lost in thought that he ignored any provocation towards him.

That was a time he hated with a passion.

* * *

 _He was someone without a legal name anymore. It had been decided that he would no longer have the name given to him by his deceased parents. That name was for someone that he no longer was._

 _He sat in a hospital bed with no name and two people by his bedside._

 _The first was another legally nameless person while the second was his friend with a Side Effect. They both looked like they had things to say, yet nothing came out. They simple sat there in silence._

 _They had found out the consequences of taking in so many gasses at once, within a closed space, and not being treated right away._

 _His body was deteriorating._

 _Any energy he had before was down to almost nothing. He sat up right, but had no desire to move. He could feel a pain in his chest and coughs trying to escape with all their might. He held them back as best he could. It was made harder since his arms and legs were also in pain._

 _His appearance didn't betray how he felt, yet the two next to him could easily see it._

 _Knowing this, the nameless boy opened his mouth to speak - a feet that cost him needed energy._

 _"-"_

 _Before any words could come out, there was a knock at the door. It slid open to reveal a Gunner with a smile on his face. He had a bag in his hand as he walked over to the bed._

 _"Hey there. Sorry it took so long to come see you. I had to tell some others an interesting story. They seemed to like it, so I left them with that."_

 _He put the bag on the table next to the bed._

 _The moonlight coming through the window illuminated the darker side of the room while the hospital lights did enough for the rest of the room. Do to the table being on the darker side of the room the moonlight was the one to shine in the bag. The three others could we that what was in the bag was a small container of ice cream._

 _"So, Tai-"_

 _"That's not my name anymore."_

 _Inukai tilted his head a bit at hearing this._

 _"I legally don't have a name anymore. Rather, we're waiting for me to pick a new one. After this, I refuse to the 'Pure Sun Child' of that family. A sun is suppose to be a sort of symbol for energy. I dint have much if that anymore. And there is no way that I'm pure."_

 _The other three said nothing about this._

 _The nameless girl and Murakami looked away._

 _Seeing the atmosphere going down, Inukai brought his smile back up._

 _"Oh yeah! There is someone else here! He said that he had something to say to you. So, please don't start fighting."_

 _Without any more hints, the three knew who exactly it was._

 _They were proven right as Ninomiya Masataka walked into the room with a glazed expression._

 _Decide to be a bit nice, the nameless boy said nothing, knowing that anything that would come out of his mouth would start a fight._

 _"..."_

 _Even so, nothing came out from the older man._

 _He tried to be patience and let Ninomiya say something._

 _"..."_

 _Nothing._

 _Having enough of the silence, the nameless boy clicked his tongue._

 _Ninomiya was looking at nothing particular. Instead, he was spacing out and even said nothing about the small provocation from the nameless boy. That was how they all knew something was wrong._

 _"Ninomiya-san, you went to say something, right?"_

 _Inukai gently nudged the man's arm._

 _He opened his mouth this time._

 _It was not what anyone was expecting._

 _"You... You gave up your name, just like that? Are you going to make a new identity for yourself?"_

 _"Of course I gave up my name. It's really nothing. A name is a name, a person is a person. I'm still alive, so I can just keep living. Even if I go by a different name I will still be myself. It's a simple idea that even a child could understand."_

 _"That would make you a faker then."_

 _The nameless boy clicked his tongue again. This time it was out of pure irritation._

 _The other three looked ready to get involved._

 _"It's fine. I'll still hate your sorry ass, not care for others and punch everyone and everything."_

 _Ninomiya didn't say anything. All he did was let out a mental sigh. It was a relief to know that only this person's name would be changed and nothing more._

 _That was all he needed to know to feel a bit better._

 _But that only lasted a while._

 _Not too longer after that, the nameless person and started going by the name "Tsukiko Yuki" while the girl was "Takaoto Mei." While "Takaoto Mei" was not much different from "Shitokei Fuji," the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" was by no means the same person as "Taiyōko Kiyoshi."_

 _While "Taiyōko Kiyoshi" always hit heavily like a hurricane and was as loud as a train, "Tsukiko Yuki" used sneak attacks and feints, as well as spoke softly rather than loudly. His whole attitude was different it the point of some people not even being able to tell that he was once that delinquent-like person._

 _Ninomiya saw this disgusting transformation and always felt his anger grow. This festered to the point of completely hating the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki," as opposed to simply disliking him._

 _While the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" would call him "Airhead" as a petty insult, Ninomiya would call him "Faker" out of pure anger._

* * *

Seeing that there was no way to snap the former A-Rank out of his own little world, Yuki thought it best to just wait.

Then he remembered who was in front of him and went for a different option.

"This should work."

Lifting his foot, Yuki slammed his heel into the other's chest, sending him backward and falling out if his chair.

The look of pure shock on Ninomiya's face was enough for him to feel happy, even with the pain.

"What do you think you're doing!? Do you know what could have happened if I didn't land right?"

"Yes. So stop complaining. You're fine, and sadly nothing is broken. You've been through worse anyways. Now stop being such a girly-girl about it and tell me where Inu is."

Ninomiya was about to tell the A-Rank off when he noticed the way Yuki was addressing his squad's Gunner.

When he was known as "Taiyōko Kiyoshi" he had called Inukai "Inu." On the flip side if that, when he became "Tsukiko Yuki" he had started calling him "Haru." It was a bit odd to hear him call Inukai "Inu" now.

Even so, he pushed that thought out of his mind as he stormed over to the smaller male while glaring down at him.

"I'm the one who brought you here, so be more thankful."

Yuki was quick to wrap his arms around himself.

"What did you do to me!? Was something implanted? Are you the reason why my whole body hurts!? Wait... Did you...!? Oh god... I don't want to, but I have to tell Minoru about this!"

"Shut up already! I'm not that kind of person! And the reason you're in pain is because you passed out during one of our arguments! Now sit down before I kick out your knees!"

"No! You definitely did something to me! You're nothing but a disgusting, perverted airhead after all!"

"You damn faker! I already told Inukai to go get someone from Kotowari Squad! I brought you here because I wanted to say something to you!"

"And what is that!? That you really wanted me all along!? Well too damn bad! I'm Mei's boyfriend! Now I get to kick your ass for hurting Minoru again!"

"No, Taiyōko, I wanted to apologize for killing you!"

The two idiots yelling at each other went quiet far too quickly. If anyone were to have seen this they would swear that the world was ending five times then being created five times. There were too many things wrong with what was just said that neither one of them knew what to do.

Yuki took a step back with wide eyes.

Ninomiya let out a groan as he ran his hand down his face.

The first to speak was the latter.

"Like I just said... I brought you here to apologize to you. Something I should have done back then. Because of me, you are dying. Your body is deteriorating and you can't do a lot of things now. You are even weaker now because of me. A lot of people have told me about the things you can't-"

Ninomiya went wide-eyed when he was forced to stop talking.

Out of nowhere, a fist had been sent into his stomach. Another one managed to get an uppercut in on him, sending his head upwards. To finish it off, a foot connected his with chest for a second time.

He fell to the ground while holding his stomach, the part that was currently hurting the most.

He glared up to see a similar glare on the person standing above him.

Yuki had his arms crossed and was now looking at him as if he were an insect.

"Hey, _Airhead,_ stop being so stupid. Who are you calling weak? Did those hits feel like they were coming from someone who is weak? If so, I'll make sure to hit you harder next time. And so what if I can't do certain things now? The fact others can enjoy them in my stead is enough for me."

He got some saliva in his mouth before spitting it on the other's face.

"Stop being so damn conceited! _You_ killing _me_? Ha! No way in hell. You aren't anywhere good enough to do that. Everything that happened on that day was the result of the two of us being idiots. Don't think you can take all the blame yourself! You're making yourself out to be the only guilty one while the rest of us are innocent!"

Yuki bent down and grabbed his collar, lifting him up a bit.

Ninomiya could see his hands shaking from the use of engery.

"You don't get to say that I was killed just because you were there. Especially since I never died. I'm here, yelling at you! Breathing! Using energy! I have a heartbeat! My limbs are moving! _I am alive_ , you damn airhead! Get your head out of your ass!"

With one hard shove, Ninomiya was back on the floor.

He could see that Yuki was beyond pissed off. Yet this was somehow different than his usual anger. This was not directed at Ninomiya himself but rather at something that neither of them really knew about.

Was he mad at that day in general? The results?

Whatever it was, Tsukiko Yuki found it stupid enough to get mad at.

He couldn't say that a burden had been lifted from his heart, but he could say that it was a lot lighter than before. The guilt of that day was still there, it just felt light enough to actually carry now.

It had been his fault, yet not his fault. Yuki was to blame, yet no blame should be directed towards him.

What was it that got the two of them mad at the current moment?

Not really caring about the answer, Ninomiya wiped the spit off his face while lifting his left up.

With a hard kick his foot slammed into the back of Yuki's leg.

Yuki fell to the ground quickly, only barely managing to catch himself.

"Those hits really were pathetic. I feel more hurt when I see that disgusting face of yours than taking those taps. Now that... _That_ was a real hit."

Yuki turned his head to show an irritated grin.

 _This is how it's suppose to be._

They are suppose to hate each other and nothing more. They were suppose to respect each other yet never show it.

The person known as "Ninomiya Masataka" and the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" would always hate each other. Even if the world were to end, they would try and end each other first.

Everything that made up "Ninomiya Masataka" and everything that made up the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" screamed hatred towards the other. They were enemies that had no real basis, people who just hated each other because they were living. Everyone knew this.

At the same time, everything that made up "Ninomiya Masataka" and everything that made up the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" screamed to respect the other. That respected was hardly ever shown, but it was there. It was respect for life, the lives they had been given, changed, and now had to deal with.

Ninomiya Masataka respected the person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" for living his life even with his deteriorating body and painful days. Those were things that showed him that the younger one was a strong person. He respected strong people.

The person known as "Tsukiko Yuki" respected Ninomiya Masataka for staying the way he is throughout everything. The fact that they were still enemies and there was never any pity made him respect the B-Rank captain.

It was an odd relationship, yet one that worked for both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Written by Yujonokage

* * *

There were nights where Minoru was unable to sleep, which wasn't that unusual for him. His depression was either keeping him awake at night or made him sleep too much during the day.

Tonight, it was keeping him awake.

Minoru was currently lying in his bed watching his boyfriend in his sleep as the raven-haired already gave up long ago trying to find his own sleep. Fortunately for him it wasn't that bad like with Mukuro and with his insomnia since Minoru would find his sleep later in the day and would catch up everything with naps when he has the time. Of course, it didn't mean that he particularly liked this lifestyle.

Watching Ninomiya for a few more minutes Minoru decided to get out of the bed with a sigh. There was no use staying in there and risking to wake up the older with his movements again. The younger silently grabbed his phone just like his headphones and stepped out of the room trying his best not to make a sound.

Before Minoru walked towards the balcony he stopped in front of Michelle's bedroom wanting to check on her. The raven-haired carefully opened the door and peeked inside, immediately smiling at the scene in front of him.

Michelle slept soundly on her bed, while Sturm and Taka cuddled closely to her. Snapping a quick photo Minoru closed the door again and resumed his way to the balcony of his apartment. A light shiver overcame him as the cold night wind hit his body as he stepped outside.

Immediately putting his headphones in his ears Minoru started to play some music. It was a Korean song so it was easier him to ignore the words, but still use the music as background sounds. Minoru is always going to dislike the silence, no matter how much he can ignore the voice these days.

While the raven-haired let the song play his gaze went over to the Border HQ which was in plain sight from where his apartment was located.

So much happened after the first invasion and with Minoru joining Border almost 5 years ago. He mostly thinks of the time before he met Ninomiya and Inukai, just like Lukas and Svantje. A time where Yasuko was still his Operator. Unconsciously his gaze went towards his naked wrist full of scars. Ninomiya managed to convince the younger not to hide his wrist when they were at home and at the beginning it was quite difficult for Minoru, but as the time passed he felt more comfortable with it.

He gentle traced every single line on his wrist, some of them mostly faded, while a few were still visual, still pale and then there was the single bright red one. Self-inflicted not even two weeks ago...

There were only a handful of people who knew about the problems he fights with himself even less know about these scars and Minoru wants that it's stays like that. He can remember clearly how the first scar appeared and wished once more that he never went into that direction.

 _Heavy breaths escaped the 13-year-old boy feeling like he was about to suffocate. He could hear his heart beating like crazy in his ears it was hot and his vision started to go darker as his body felt hotter and hotter with each second. Suddenly the young boy couldn't stop scratch his arms, trying to distract himself from all the things of what is happening to him. A voice in his head whispering in his head._

 ** _"You failed them... They're forever gone... You won't be able to protect her..."_**

 _As a sharp pain came from his arm, the boy slowly calmed down. The voice got quiet, his heartbeat came to a normal rhythm and as his vision finally cleared he looked down on his arm. His nails managed to cut his skin deep enough that Blood flowed down his arm. It hurt, but the boy liked this feeling more than he felt the numbness before and got to breathe again._

But even when Minoru knew what was going on with him when he was younger he knew that he still would go into that direction. Especially when the feeling of shame still came afterwards and the raven-haired wasn't able to talk to someone about it. I mean, how could he? He didn't know what was going on with him and during the time after the first invasion he wanted the doctors' priorities to others who need them more.

Over the time the raven-haired continued to hurt himself to make the voice in his head shut up and reduce the feeling of numbness, but as the time went by it wasn't enough for him to scratch his skin bloody anymore. No. He needed something deeper and that hurt him more. That's why he started to use a knife, but when he did his sister caught him and Minoru finally realized how much he affected others with his doing.

 _Months passed and the 14-year-old boy watched the blood flowing strongly down his arm and into the sink. The voice was quiet again and the pain replaced the numbness like he wanted. No one knew what he did to his wrist and thanks to the Trigger he could hide it better when he was in Border. Young Minoru was so engrossed watching the blood that he didn't notice his sister entering the bathroom. A loud gasp pulled him out of his mind and his head turned towards the voice._

 _As he saw his twin sister standing in the door frame her eyes widened and close to tears Minoru let the knife fall in shock. Shame strongly overcame him, stronger than ever before because Mirai caught him in the middle of the act. But before Minoru could say anything his twin sister stepped forwards and pressed her fingers against the cut, not caring how the blood seeped throw her fingers._

 _"I'm so sorry..." She apologized, tears falling on her cheek "Why didn't I see you were suffering so much?"_

 _Minoru's own tears couldn't be held back anymore and they started to fall on their own. On that day as they cried together Minoru confessed to her all of his feeling he had hidden inside of him._

A few days later Mirai told him that she would also join Border. Of course, Minoru was against it at first, but when he saw how determined she was when she told him he couldn't say no. When he thinks about it now his sister only wanted to relief his burden so much she could.

(VIXX LR – Beautiful Liar)

 **...It's a beautiful pain**

 **Neoreul bonaejuneun il**

 **Nae ane nal jugigo**

...It's a beautiful pain

Letting you go

I have to kill myself inside

 **Nunmul samkimyeo**

 **Utgo inneun gamyeoneul sseune**

 **Nan jigeum neomuna holgabunhae**

 **Jebal nae geokjeongeun hajima**

 **Oh nan**

 **I'm a beautiful-**

 **Ani bigeophan Liar**

(Swallow my tears

And put on a smiling mask

I feel so relieved now

Please don't worry about me

Oh I'm

I'm a beautiful-

No, a cowardly liar)

Just as Minoru's mind came out of the memory the song he was listening to came to an end. The raven-haired scoffed softly at himself. The story of the song was different, but the lyrics described mostly how he felt.

It was a relief that his sister finally knew how he suffered inside, but unfortunately it wasn't enough for him to seek real help and continued to keep everything inside, even in front of his sister sometimes, because he didn't want her to suffer because of him.

But fortunately for Minoru, it didn't take long until he finally could see the light again. Just two weeks later when Mirai joined Border Minoru met them. Yasuko Schneider and her daughter Michelle Schneider.

Yasuko was the one who approached Minoru to form a squad between the two of them and she was the one who managed to see past Minoru's mask and helped him to seek professional help. But without Michelle he wouldn't have let other people get close to him again.

When someone asked people like Tachikawa or Kazama, if they could tell them how Minoru's character used to be when he first joined Border no one would believe them that there was a time the raven-haired always kept to himself avoided even other people if possible and it would have stayed like this weren't it for both Yasuko and Michelle.

 _While Yasuko and Michelle came over to visit Minoru was tasked to keep an eye on Michelle and she suddenly started to crawl towards him. Minoru almost chocked on nothing when he saw the baby crawling in his direction, he liked babies, yes but after everything what happened he just couldn't trust himself again._

 _So, he quickly stood up and increase the distant between them again. Michelle didn't like it at all and her lower lip started quivering and her eyes to shine with tears. Minoru eyes widened at that and without thinking he took her in his arms. The baby calmed down at that immediately smiling brightly at Minoru._

 _Something pulled on the young man's heart as he looked into her bright blue and green eyes. Michelle just continue to smile at him, before her face turned into a confused one. Her small hand started to pat his face and even wiped away the tears clumsily which started to fall down his cheek._

 _"Mino..._ _ **Weinen. Nein**_ _. [Crying. No.]" Michelle babbled as she continues to wipe the tears away. But Minoru couldn't help but to let out a sob. He didn't know why he suddenly feels so emotional, but when was the last time he had real human contact? For months he didn't even hug his sister properly and now he had this little girl in his arms and noticed how much he missed it. Hugging the baby closer Minoru let his tears fall not caring that Yasuko or Mirai could find him in this kind of state._

 _"Ah, it seems my little mice managed to come through you." He heard Yasuko's voice and the raven-haired lifted his head to look at the older woman, who smiled at him with a motherly gaze. The German-Japanese woman stepped closer to him and gentle took his wrist with the scars on it._

 _Of course, Minoru reacted badly at this but didn't pull away since he could drop Michelle with that action._

 _"You don't have to punish yourself for what happened." She told him, gentle caressing the bandage around his wrist. Her eyes never judged him, but were still filled with her love and care for him._

 _"Just like you don't need to carry everything on your own. Your sister is here for you, I'm here for you."_

 _At hearing that Minoru couldn't help but going on full sobbing, leaning against her as she took him in her arms kissing gentle his head like a mother would do for her child._

During that moment Yasuko managed to break all the walls Minoru build over months and became the parent figure Minoru needed in his life. With her help the raven-haired finally seeked a doctor for all his problems.

With the help and time Minoru slowly became the one who everyone knew in Border.

But it didn't mean all his problems vanished over time. No. They're still there, but Minoru learned how to handle them better. He still doesn't want others to know since he doesn't want their pity or treat him any different, but mostly because he still feels a little ashamed to have all these problems.

Years passed and Minoru found people who found out about his depression, but didn't treat him any different and he was grateful for that. Inukai and Yuki belong to his best friends and is happy to have them. They still may not know about the cuts, but they know about his depression and panic-attacks which helps when he gets one in public.

.

 _Minoru and some of his friends were on the rooftop of their school as the topic about Arafune's fear of dogs came up and when they found out about the scars on his butt. Everyone was laughing and making fun of it, everyone except for Arafune and Minoru._

 _Arafune's reason for not laughing was reasonable, since he didn't like being teased for it._

 _But Minoru didn't laugh for a whole different reason, his mind immediately went to his own scars he was hiding under all these eyes. It wasn't the topic scars that triggered his state, but the laughter._

 _ **"They are going to find out... They will laugh at you for being weak... They are going to leave you..."**_

 _His breath started to get irregular and Minoru immediately grabbed Inukai's arm rather strongly. Fortunately, only said person reacted to it and saw that his best friend started to have a panic-attack._

 _With a quick excuse Inukai managed to get them off the rooftop towards the nurse station, while Inukai tried to get Minoru focus like he learned it from the other times he witnessed his best friend having a panic-attack._

 _But it didn't work. Minoru just couldn't focus as his mind constantly went to his scars, the shame grew and before Minoru knew it he blacked out._

When he woke up again he was surrounded by his sister, Inukai and Ninomiya. They didn't ask what caused his panic-attack and Minoru was grateful for that, but it felt like Minoru took several steps back as he was unable to talk about his problems for a long time.

 ** _"Why would they even want to listen to you?"_**

Minoru stiffened when he heard the voice in his head again, out of instinct he wanted to turn the volume of his phone on, but he noticed that his phone died. So, he tried his best to ignore the voice.

 ** _"You always burden them, because you're weak. Do you really want to annoy them more?"_**

Don't listen, don't listen, don't listen, Minoru chanted this in head as he ripped of his headphones.

 _ **"Your parents, your younger brother and your twin sister left. Masataka? He is going to leave you."**_

Minoru's whole body started to shake as he was forced to continue hearing that voice.

 ** _"Yet you're here fine as you can be, while others suffered of your weakness."_**

Suddenly the raven-haired went back into his apartment straight to the kitchen, his eyes immediately went onto the kitchen knives.

 ** _"You should punish yourself for failing your family."_**

And despite knowing that he shouldn't do that Minoru's hand reached towards one of the knives, but before he could grab one someone hugged him from behind and another hand stopped his own hand from reaching the knife.

Tears gathered in his eyes as the person rested his head on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you wake me up...?"

The tiredness in the others voice was clearly to hear showing that the other male just woke up.

"Why are out of bed Masataka...?"

The tears of the younger were close to spill, but Minoru did his best to hold them. The voice in his head were still lurking saying all of Minoru's fears.

"I missed your warmth so I looked for you..."

The trembling returned to Minoru and his gaze went to his hand being held gentle in the others hand and the younger felt that the older also watched his hand, before he gentle guided it close to the youngers body.

Neither of them said a word about what Minoru was about to do, Ninomiya just tighten his hug, kissing Minoru's temple gentle, before he mumbled softly:

"It's okay... I'm here..."

No matter how strong Minoru tried to held it in, these words truly broke the youngers wall and he let everything he tried to hide out. The only sounds to be heard were Minoru's muffled sobs and his apologies, he didn't know when it happened, but the younger found himself on the ground with Ninomiya his face buried in the older neck.

Minoru felt how his boyfriend caressed his back gentle while he spoke these gentle words he didn't deserve, yet he didn't do anything to stop him to continue to cry.

Time passed and the sounds of sobs quieted down slowly, now Minoru just rested his head on the shoulder of his boyfriend his shirt soaked with his tears, the older never stopped to caress his back.

But unfortunately, another thing didn't stop.

 ** _"How long are you going to stay there? Do you want to continue to burden him?"_**

Minoru stiffened as he heard the voice again and Ninomiya noticed that. The older just started to caress Minoru's head before he started to speak softly.

"Do you remember the day we went to Nara with Michelle?"

The raven-haired blinked at the question, looking at his boyfriend in confusion, but Ninomiya just continued.

"She wanted to feed the deer's in the park and I saw that you got nervous the closer we got to it and before I could question it you were suddenly surrounded by deer's even without doing anything." Minoru smiled fondly at the memory.

"I was truly surprised when you started to run away while all these deer followed you, I thought Inukai was exaggerating it when he told us what happened on your class trip but I fully understood then why your chat-name is Deer Prince."

As the older started to tell another memory Minoru noticed how much his body calmed down and the voice in his head finally shut up so, he continues to listen not even caring about what the story is about. The raven-haired just wanted to listen to the older voice and once that story was finished Minoru looked up to his boyfriend, who looked back at him.

"How do you feel?" The brunet asked in a gentle tone never stopping to caress the youngers head.

"Better... Much better." Minoru shifted their positions and cupped the others face, before he pulled the brunet into a gentle kiss.

Their lips moved in a slow pace, sometimes Minoru would press his lips softly in corner of Ninomiya's lips, before fully kissing his lips again. After a few seconds the both of them pulled away from the kiss, the raven-haired rested his forehead against the older as he caught his breath his gaze never leaving his boyfriend. It was silent between them, but this time Minoru didn't mind the silence. After a few minutes the brunet opened his mouth to speak.

"Let's go to bed..."

Minoru just nodded at that and let himself be pulled by the other male as they returned to their bedroom. Once back under the duvet the younger snuggled closer to Ninomiya while the latter wrapped his arms around him.

"Do you want to tell me what triggered the urge this time...?"

Minoru knew the topic would come up sometime and being honest to himself he wanted to avoid talking about it and just try to sleep again. But a part of him just screamed at him to tell the other. The raven-haired opened his mouth only to close it again repeating the gesture before his voice finally came out.

"The voice..." Minoru sighed softly and buried himself closer to the older hiding his face in the others neck again. "It's idiotic... It was the same as ever and I was an idiot to listen to it again..." Shame overcame him once again and Minoru tried his best not to cry again. But as he felt a hand gentle tugging his head he looked at his boyfriend again.

"Minoru." Ninomiya started softly. "There is nothing to be ashamed off. Sometimes the voice may win, but it doesn't mean you're weak." Despite doing his best a tear fell on Minoru's cheeks as he listened and Ninomiya gently wiped it away.

"I still think you're one of the strongest people I know. Before we met, even before you met Yasuko-san. You fought for the city, while you battled your own fight in your head." The brunet let go of the youngers face and took his wrist, the latter flinched at the gesture, but didn't pull his arm away.

"No matter how many of them are going to appear..." Fingers gentle caressed the red line. "I want you to remember: You don't have to burden everything yourself. There are so many of us who care about you and look up to you. You're not alone and we're here for you."

More and more tears fell from Minoru again during his boyfriend's speech and Ninomiya just gentle wiped them away.

Once the tears dried again the brunet pulled the younger closer to him.

"Try to sleep again. It's a new day tomorrow."

Minoru just nodded at that, but before he closed his eyes he called for his boyfriend again in a quiet voice.

"Masataka..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you for staying at my side." He started, smiling softly and his eyes brighter than minutes ago. "I love you."

Ninomiya kissed the younger forehead softly.

"I love you, too Minoru."


End file.
